Ever enjoy a random morning watching reruns of that show you enjoyed all throughout your most developmental years, and find yourself noticing things now that you are watching with a very different perspective? For me, Gilmore Girls has always been one of those key shows. I used to watch with my mom, our relationship reminiscent of the closeness and friend-like air that exists in the dynamic between Loralei and Rory. While I did grow up with both parents, and a younger brother, there was still much that we could relate to. Additionally, neither of my parents went to college the traditional way. My mother has just now completed her Bachelor's (Congrats, Mom!) after years dedicating herself to part-time jobs and Stepford-like duties while my father worked full-time and went to night school. Once I was old enough, she began working full-time herself, still balancing the cooking, cleaning, and various tasks for the entire family and our pets. My point is that, as their eldest child and the eldest grandchild on either side, I had quite the set of expectations - or at least hopes - to live up to. My parents, and grandparents, saw in me the American dream at the thought of my going away to college, living on campus and discovering myself with the aid of scholarships. And I saw in myself the image of Rory every time I watched Gilmore Girls. I read for college level creative writing courses during high school, while my mother would read People magazine. I would daydream about my future, high-power career in all its glory while my mom dreamt of the same.
In reality, college came and went as I graduated from one of the best universities in the state with my Bachelor's in English. I followed Rory's similar development on her path to journalism with a passion for literature and writing. However, I did not participate in the university newspaper and was unable to land that idealized publishing career. I found odd jobs after returning home and realized I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I discovered linguistics and lucked into an assistantship at the local university, spending the subsequent two years finishing my Master's. Still - no luck. No full time work but only a brief stint working for near minimum wage (yes, with a Master's) at Barnes and Noble, and picking up hours here and there teaching ESL courses. I decided the market is competitive and set out to do whatever it took for a 9-5 job and enrolled in a second Bachelor's for Computer Science. This did help, and I found a job willing to train me in SEO. Great office, great people, great opportunity, great pay.
Odd thing - my first week on the job my side job (perfectly suited to my background in English and Language studies) offers me a significant jump in hours. What was a once a month consulting phone call turned into weekly contracted hours, freelance style. What do I do?? Steady, stable, good pay at a trusted company as most dream of - the same that has been planned and plotted for me since birth behind door one. Unsteady, unreliable opportunity for linguistics work, that I can do from the comfort of home, for a higher rate per hour, with an even more well-known company behind door number two. Classic follow your heart or your wallet situation.
This year has been a whirlwind to say the least. I feel that I have been on a merry-go-round between finishing my Master's, getting married, traveling to Europe, balancing 3-4 part time jobs at once, switching back to two jobs and a Bachelor's in Computer Science, withdrawing in favor of the idolized 9-5 office career, and then leaving it all behind to freelance from home in developing materials for language education. So much for falling into the plan. But then, this morning I found myself watching reruns yet again of my beloved Gilmore Girls.
I watched with new eyes as Rory couldn't keep up with the curriculum her grandfather had taken at Yale. She was deterred from school by a runaway romance with a smooth-talking young man. She got mixed up in complete misunderstandings resulting in court ordered community service and suspension from college. She managed to find her way back into Journalism but distressed at the idea that her contacts got her the job and not her merit. She wavered back and forth constantly on what to do with her life. And I realized, now more than ever, I am still Rory. Nothing is perfect. There is no perfect. There is life. Life happens. And a great family will love you no matter what path you chose as long as you are happy and healthy. You can like the life you're living, or you can live the life you like. And I am living the life I like.
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| Mom and I in my college apartment |
